My first kiss…

Y’all remember yours?? It’s one of those moments you don’t forget, huh? It’s funny to look back on it though; there was so much build up for that one moment of complete awkwardness. Because c’mon – who has an Earth shattering, amazing first kiss?

Not this girl.

Mine was with my on/off boyfriend at the end of my 7th grade year, let’s call him P.

That’s right kids, I’ve been a licensed kissing fool for 14 years. Damn, I feel old.

So {let’s see if I can accurately remember this story from FOURTEEN years ago…} P and I had an interesting relationship. He was “in love” with me since he first moved to SG in the first grade. I wasn’t “in love” with him – he was a dork. He was my friend, but c’mon guys, I wanted to think I was cool way back when – I couldn’t possibly be interested in the dork. Well, apparently around the time of my thirteenth year I decided it was okay to find the dork cute. He was endearing and sweet and such a nice guy. Why not? I didn’t have anything to lose.

{And guys, I wish I had my box of notes – yes, I still have them, but they’re at my parents. I have some juicy shit from back in the day. Some serious heart pouring of emotions. These notes were what any 13 yr old girl loves to hear – I swear most were lines from movies or song lyrics. They were that good. Then.}

Well, we dated – er, hung out after school, at track meets, called each other on the phone {what does that even mean?!}. So, maybe we didn’t really date to today’s standards. But we were boyfriend and girlfriend and dramatic to boot. Why was middle school so full of drama?? Oh wait, I think it’s because none of us had a stinkin’ clue who we were at that age.

But anyways… we spent this whole year holding hands and being so cutesy. {gag – maybe my 13th year is why I don’t like holding hands anymore – food for thought}. And after much deliberation we planned – yes, planned – our first “big person” kiss. It was to happen on the last day of school, after our “end of 7th grade” party. This colossal moment was scheduled to happen outside the middle school in the small parking lot. Seriously, this couldn’t be more awkward. 

And everyone knew about it. I went to small school in a tiny town – hell, our principal probably knew. {Shame on him for not stopping this debauchery.}

So there we were, the end of the day, the end of the school year; about to embark on our next big adventure – the kiss.

This is MUCH cuter than what our kiss looked like. Believe me.

This is how this went down – I got all my stuff ready to go home, as did he. We were to meet outside at 2:45. And guys, our friends came out to witness this. THIS is NOT how a kiss should go down. You should not have an audience, but we did – so, sweaty palms and all  – we went for it. BAM! We kissed, not a slow, romantic, Hollywood type kiss – no, no – we legit put our lips together and did what we thought we were supposed to. Add tongue to that and what do you have… the most awkward moment, ever.

But it was over with.

Looking back, it wasn’t the worst kiss I’ve ever had {how sad, right?} it wasn’t sloppy or disgusting – it was just very innocent, very clueless.  And it most DEFINITELY wasn’t the best kiss {I’d give up kissing as a whole if it was} – but it falls nice and cozily in the memorable moments category. I’m good with that, that’s where it’s supposed to be.

But still, why was there so much planning? I don’t even plan to kiss a guy 5 seconds before I do it now. Fourteen years ago I planned for like a month.

Now, I know you are all dying to know what happened to the star crossed lovers that P and I were. Well, life happened. We grew up. I don’t know where P is these days or what is going on in his life.

I do wish him the best and thank him for such a fond memory of one of the more awkward moments of my life.

How was your first kiss??

Happy hump day, kittens.


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